Thursday, April 7, 2011

‘Hobo With A Shotgun’ Should Be Put Down

By River Shaughnessy, Top Critic
Denver, Colorado

I’m a big dog – I love me some Grindhouse, and I can handle my share of onscreen violence without up-chucking on the oriental rug. So when all my puppy pals at SXSW were barking about this wild new indie flick, Hobo With A Shotgun, I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into it. But boy was I disappointed. This amateurish flick had all the appeal of your most clichéd film school senior project. Even viewers who tune in just for the whimsical romp of a hard R-rating will likely get turned off by the lackluster script, over-the-top acting, and sub-par gore effects.

What’s it about you might ask? Take a fucking guess, smart guy. Rutger Hauer, the films only recognizable face, plays a down-on-his-luck homeless fellow who decides that enough is enough when he sees the streets around him turn into a cesspool of filth and violence. His flavorless brand of vigilante justice targets “Drake”, an evil…. gangster? politician? ringmaster?... the filmmakers don’t really explain who he is. The point is, this is one bad mother fucker. Anywho, Mr. Hobo is keen to stick up for the downtrodden, namely a young prostitute with a heart of gold named Abbie. They fall in love (gross!) and plan to run away together.

But first, Hobocop has to shoot the dicks off of Drake’s slimy sons.

My sincere wish was that Hobo With A Shotgun would be one of those awesome “so-bad-it’s-good” gore fests where plot comes secondary to the bloodbath. Unfortunately, director Jason Eisener felt compelled to take it so far, it collapsed in on itself in a sticky mess of Karo syrup and plastic entrails.

Summary: Rutger Hauer? More like Ruffgrrrrr Howler. Zing!

Wags: 1/5

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