Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Something Stinks...Oh, It's Scream 4.

By River Shaughnessy, Top Critic
Denver, Colorado

The time was the mid-nineties. I was just a young pup. The Spice Girls were topping the charts. Matthew Lilliard was still considered a bankable young star. Boy, things sure have changed since then! Even so, when I saw that they were trying to wring a bit more profit out of the old Scream franchise by releasing a 4th installment, I couldn’t resist a trip down memory lane, back to old Woodsboro High School where Ghost Face originally made his mark as a knife-wielding maniac for the ages.

With so many hot youngsters in Hollywood today, I figured that there was no way they’d dig up ol’ dog-fraced Neve Campbell to reprise her role as Sydney Prescott. Ruh-roh! Wrong again. Scream 4 brings back Sydney, Gale Weathers AND Deputy Dewie for another crack at solving a new string of mysterious murders (conveniently tied to the anniversary of the original murders, and Sydney’s triumphant return to Woodsboro).

Even through Scream 4 was eye-rollingly bad from minute-one, there was a nostalgic enjoyment to the first half. The old routine of the two babes alone in the house, getting the phone call, falsely accusing their friends of pranking them, and then dying a grisly death at the hands of Ghost Face was as comfortable to me as my high-school dog bed. But the last act was riddled with a twist so groan-worthy, I find it hard to believe that any screenwriter would take credit for it. Pair that with the fact that there’s not a single legitimate fright in the whole movie, and what you’re left with is a real stinker.

Summary: I’ve got a hole all set in the backyard. Let’s bury this franchise once and for all, shall we?

Wags: 2/5

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